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Renee's random ramblings

So since i haven't blogged in a while and i think i have had too much coffee tonight...thought i would just do a general update!

Let's see....well...I have been feeling rather frustrated lately and am trying to process it all. Last week I got an email from the American Director of the orphanage the boys lived at. Solomon's birth mom is in a desperate situation and wanted us to send pics and I am sure money to help her. They are really struggling and if we think the economic situation is bad here...it is dire in Haiti. Apparently they interviewed her a while back, even sent a newsletter out with her story and a picture of her and her daughter...do you think anyone told us about it???? NOOOOO Not until I asked about her. UGH. http://forhisgloryoutreach.org/news.php If you click on this link and read the Life in Haiti that story is about her. Then I clicked on the devastating pictures link...my heart just about broke.

That same day I was feeding my sweet little boys and they were on the back deck eating rice and green beans. I looked outside and they were laughing...as they were throwing their rice in the air. They kept doing it. I did grab the video and got a little on tape to show daddy!

Here i just read all this about their family in Haiti not being able to afford dirt biscuits for each member of the family...and my own children are throwing their food on the floor. It is heartbreaking to see such devastation and not fix it. That same morning we had taken Taylor to get braces. Ok, so as parents that is what we are supposed to do, right? In AMERICA! $5000 to have straight teeth!!!! There are people who can't afford rice! Hmmmm...sorry, i really am trying to process it all. I just believe God wants us all to do our part to help others. I really wish i could do more. I looked at Kathy C's blog with the 4 year old triplets that need a home...i had to quickly look away!! I am so not ready for that....but if I let my heart go there....

The boys are doing really great. Markenley is doing much better with the melt downs...but they still happen...had one today! It is soooo draining. I had to hold him for like 20 minutes....kicking and screaming. Then he took a nap and was a doll. He just finished up soccer! He went from sitting on the field to walking on the lines to being on the ball trying with all his might! I took him to his soccer party last night and I really enjoyed one on one time with him. It was at a bounce house place. He had a ball! When they started handing out trophies he looked at me with such hopeful eyes and said "not for me Mommy?" "Yes of course you get one Honey." 6 months in the country and getting his first trophy. I was a very proud Mommy! Tonight he was watching Pocahontis with Shanay and she said there was a part where John says to Pocahontis "I don't belong here" and then Markenley said to Shanay "I want to belong" and she said "you belong here with us" and he said "i belong to Haiti"...she came and told me. I went to him and he said the same thing to me...my mommy heart broke and I had to snuggle and reassure him that he belongs to Jesus and to Daddy and Mommy and sisters and brothers.....I don't know how much he knows what BELONG means...but this was a good opportunity to cement this deeper in his little 4 year old heart. Don't we all want to belong?
Markenley is also in major planning mode for his birthday...his first ever birthday party ever!!! I really should have had a party for him when he got home. He has had to go through Todd's, Solomons, Mine, Shanay, Jessica and numerous other non family member parties since he came home. Poor little guy. Everyday he will say "can i have a truck birthday, can i have a spiderman birthday"..etc. etc.
I really want to have a play date for him with my dear friend pearls day care kids. I watch them from time to time...they are such amazing kids....they will ask about the boys when I am there. I think it would be fun for them to come over to my house and play with the boys. They are a great group of kids for the boys to be buddies with. :)

Solomon is a hysterical ball of energy and snuggles. "Snuggle Mommy" he says a 100 times a day. He likes to tattle too...if someone hurts him or scolded him and he cries he finds someone and says "Daddy do that", or "Nay Nay do that"....etc.
Todd and I will just look at each other thinking what would we do without this kid??


Tay tay is doing good...in pain because of the braces. Surviving Jr. High so far!! She is such a awesome big sis...they all are really...to the boys at least, not always to eachother!! :) Tay is in the choir for the church Christmas musical! I love hearing her sing.

TJ is super busy with Snow White rehearsals and the church Christmas musical. Not to mention piano lessons (free at school...yeah!) and saxophone lessons too. He also is sooo into magic tricks. Card tricks, coin tricks etc. Each day it is something new with him. A few weeks ago he was putting highlighter ink into the medicine dropper and thinking it was a cure for cancer (he told taylor he would sell it to her for $100)! He has his heart set on curing cancer...he was also using a cane and walking with a limp like Dr. House.

Jessibear is trying to plan her future...Youth Pastor or the Medical field...hmm,,..i will keep you posted!! She just finished volleyball...yeah! She is doing a lot of juggling in her life lately! :) Oh to be 15 again.:)

Shanay is busy with school and friends! She took Solomon to her school soccer game last night while i was with Markenley at his soccer party. She enjoyed playing big sis and showing him off to all of her friends...and getting looks from the adults who probably think he was was son.

Todd is busy with the holiday stuff at church! Directing the Christmas Musical has occupied a lot of his time. He is also doing music for the family camp at Mt. Hermon on thanksgiving and the whole weekend....which we get to attend!! We are all super excited! I love love love Mt. Hermon and to get to go with my family is such a blessing.

Ok, that's it for now...gotta go sew stuff!

Love,
Renee

Warm feet

As I was putting Markenley to bed the other night he proceeded to tell me that when he was in Haiti his feet were cold. He also said he had no jammies, pillows or blankies. Markenley is often worried that when he wakes up his feet will be cold. If he isn't wearing feetie jammies and takes his socks off to go to bed he brings this up. I have started putting socks outside his door, since he wakes up earlier than Solomon he won't have to wake Soly up looking for socks.
When we were in Haiti visiting he wanted nothing to do with putting the orphanage shoes back on when we were taking him back to the O. Later after he came home he was always wanting to wear tennis shoes..even in the summer. I really think that it was a comfort to him.
I am amazed at this little thing that we can do to help him feel loved and secure.
I am asked quite often "how can you afford to adopt?" I can honestly say that it isn't easy with 2 more kids. On Sunday our Pastor talked about 1Kings 17:7 and the widow at Zarephath. She had very little flour and oil but was asked to make a cake for Elijah. She did as the Lord asked and she was blessed because of it. We have seen many blessings in our lives as well.
It has been very hard emotionally, physically and financially to add two more kids to our home. I also believe it has been amazing and eye opening. When I think of my son's warm feet all tucked into his bed...with his quilts made by his mommy, and his 5 pillows...and how loved he feels...I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am also so proud of the other kids. I know sometimes it can be frustrating as a kid to have to sacrifice time and stuff...but they LOVE their brothers soooo much. They see the value in their little lives. So many times people have told me that they have thought about adopting but didn't because of 'time, or money'. It is just heartbreaking because these little children are the innocent victims of either adult choices or circumstances of their lives. So many children are waiting for homes, i wish i could save them all..give them all feetie jammies and a family to love them. I wish i could portray to these people too how blessed they will be as well. I know it's not an easy decision. It is a lifelong commitment....but following God's plan is amazing. So, if anyone who reads this has any questions, or ever considered adoption, i would love to chat with you.

crazy pumpkin carving

aren't they cute?

more pics

photos...

 

 

 

 

Missing our Noah

October is such a bitter sweet month for our family. We love the new cooler weather, fall leaves, fun events...but all this reminds us of our sweet Noah. 2 years ago in October we were all filled with excitement and joy of finally getting to go meet the sweet child that God had placed in our family. The little boy that we had loved for 11 months...and lost all too soon. The little boy who made such an impact to so many. We think of Noah many times each day. When Markenley and Solomon pray during each meal and thank God for each family member, Noah is one in the 'long' list! He is not forgotten..he will never be forgotten.
Fall makes me think back to the morning where i was out to coffee with my friend Pammi and came home to hear that Noah was sick again....the helplessness that we felt. The irritation that more wasn't done to get a medical visa. Later that night when we would get the new that he was gone....
There were so many emotions...
the pain
the anger
the disbelief
the lost feeling
the comfort
the friends
the caring
the love
the 'why?' God
the tearing out of our hearts
the 'how could i have done this to my other kids'
the guilt
the realization
the impact this child had
the blessings
the fact that he will always be remember...always have a picture on a wall, a prayer said for him, a family to love him...ALWAYS.

This month I have listened nonstop to Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crown. This has been comforting to me. I truly felt this was God's gift to me. (Thank you Honey for picking this song for Sunday's service...even though you aren't singing it;)
It is such a good reminder that God is there as our comforter.
I had another experience this month...i heard this kid say "Mommy!" and i immediately thought of Noah and was reminded that someday that is what I will hear, I will get to be with him I will get to see him and hold him. I hope he runs to me and calls out "Mommy".

We are blessed that Markenley and Solomon are home. It is amazing to see God's hand in our lives, His plan. I would be much happier if His plan had included Noah running around here too.

My kids all had a difficult time on the 27th as well...TJ declared that morning that everyone had to wear pink. Noah was always wearing pink in his update pictures. Todd and TJ had the 'real men wear pink' t-shirts...Todd wore his that day.

We decided that our family needed to be together that day so we made Jess get out of volleyball early and we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. There was a sense of sadness, but we were all there to support one another.

As we look back and remember we thank God for Noah...we miss you Noah. Keep on dancing buddy. Mommy loves you. We all do.

photos:)

Jessibear

Where does the time go? I have been meaning to posts pics of my beautiful Jessibear in honor of her birthday! This past week has been so crazy. Last thursday we were in the ER all night because TJ had a scooter injury and split his lip open...5 stitches later he is doing good. Friday Jess hurt her knee at volleyball and ended up at the docs for hours Friday night. ( I did get to go see Joyce Meyer with my girlfriends Friday morning!)
Saturday Markenley had soccer and did great!! He has the best smile...he runs around smiling not very aggressive but part of the team! Later that day we had a bunch of friends over to visit with my 2 friends that were here from out of town!
Sunday night we went back to the ER because TJ was having issues...going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. The advise nurse thought he may have an internal injury due to his previous injury!! He ended up being fine.
Monday we had to make appts for Jess for chest pains...and Taylor for a sty in her eye. Tomorrow TJ gets his stitches out and Markenley has a follow up doctors appt.
With all this we have all had colds this past week and have felt icky!!!
Anyway, life has been one big blurrr....

Here are some special pictures of my beautiful daughter!! I love you my Jessibear!