crazy pumpkin carving

aren't they cute?

more pics

photos...

 

 

 

 

Missing our Noah

October is such a bitter sweet month for our family. We love the new cooler weather, fall leaves, fun events...but all this reminds us of our sweet Noah. 2 years ago in October we were all filled with excitement and joy of finally getting to go meet the sweet child that God had placed in our family. The little boy that we had loved for 11 months...and lost all too soon. The little boy who made such an impact to so many. We think of Noah many times each day. When Markenley and Solomon pray during each meal and thank God for each family member, Noah is one in the 'long' list! He is not forgotten..he will never be forgotten.
Fall makes me think back to the morning where i was out to coffee with my friend Pammi and came home to hear that Noah was sick again....the helplessness that we felt. The irritation that more wasn't done to get a medical visa. Later that night when we would get the new that he was gone....
There were so many emotions...
the pain
the anger
the disbelief
the lost feeling
the comfort
the friends
the caring
the love
the 'why?' God
the tearing out of our hearts
the 'how could i have done this to my other kids'
the guilt
the realization
the impact this child had
the blessings
the fact that he will always be remember...always have a picture on a wall, a prayer said for him, a family to love him...ALWAYS.

This month I have listened nonstop to Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crown. This has been comforting to me. I truly felt this was God's gift to me. (Thank you Honey for picking this song for Sunday's service...even though you aren't singing it;)
It is such a good reminder that God is there as our comforter.
I had another experience this month...i heard this kid say "Mommy!" and i immediately thought of Noah and was reminded that someday that is what I will hear, I will get to be with him I will get to see him and hold him. I hope he runs to me and calls out "Mommy".

We are blessed that Markenley and Solomon are home. It is amazing to see God's hand in our lives, His plan. I would be much happier if His plan had included Noah running around here too.

My kids all had a difficult time on the 27th as well...TJ declared that morning that everyone had to wear pink. Noah was always wearing pink in his update pictures. Todd and TJ had the 'real men wear pink' t-shirts...Todd wore his that day.

We decided that our family needed to be together that day so we made Jess get out of volleyball early and we took the kids to the pumpkin patch. There was a sense of sadness, but we were all there to support one another.

As we look back and remember we thank God for Noah...we miss you Noah. Keep on dancing buddy. Mommy loves you. We all do.

photos:)

Jessibear

Where does the time go? I have been meaning to posts pics of my beautiful Jessibear in honor of her birthday! This past week has been so crazy. Last thursday we were in the ER all night because TJ had a scooter injury and split his lip open...5 stitches later he is doing good. Friday Jess hurt her knee at volleyball and ended up at the docs for hours Friday night. ( I did get to go see Joyce Meyer with my girlfriends Friday morning!)
Saturday Markenley had soccer and did great!! He has the best smile...he runs around smiling not very aggressive but part of the team! Later that day we had a bunch of friends over to visit with my 2 friends that were here from out of town!
Sunday night we went back to the ER because TJ was having issues...going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. The advise nurse thought he may have an internal injury due to his previous injury!! He ended up being fine.
Monday we had to make appts for Jess for chest pains...and Taylor for a sty in her eye. Tomorrow TJ gets his stitches out and Markenley has a follow up doctors appt.
With all this we have all had colds this past week and have felt icky!!!
Anyway, life has been one big blurrr....

Here are some special pictures of my beautiful daughter!! I love you my Jessibear!

Happy 15th Birthday Jessica

Happy Birthday my beautiful Jessibear. I am so proud of you. You are amazingly beautiful and smart. I love you so much and admire your strength and conviction and devotion to God. We had a great day at your volleyball tournament, and you were SOOO wonderful. I love the way you are so encouraging to your teammates.
I love you!
Happy Birthday.
love you,
Mommy

Guada-La-La

The girls are blessed by many wonderful friends...Guadalupe is one of them..I love her as if she were my own! She is a great support and has a beautiful heart. :)
I love it when my kids friends come over, they don't go off to their room, or the living room, they plop down on the couch with Todd and I and hang out with us! I love you Guadalupe...you know you are welcome here ANYTIME!

more youth group

Youth group!

Tonight was the boys first night at youth group!! I love love love their teachers so I felt great about them going. I was working with the older kids. It usually starts at age 4 but Soly was allowed to go! They had so much fun. I had given my camera to KayAnn, one of the teachers and she took some pics for me. There is also a pic I took of TJ during the worship time. I love to watch him praise God! I am glad I get to witness such wonderful things! Usually Shanay and Jess are leaders on Wed. night too, but they haven't commited yet. Jess is super busy with volleyball and Shanay wanted to wait to see what her homework load would be like as a Jr.
It really helped me tonight to get out and be with big people!! I was blessed by my good friend Susan Newton tonight too! Thank you God for her!

Hangin out with the birthday girl

Here are a few random pics from Shanay's birthday weekend. I think she has the rest of the pics...i need to find them. I love her crown..because she is one of my princesses!