Shanay and Markenley

PB and J

Patience, pee pee, and sleeping

Through the whole adoption process I felt the Lord teaching me trust and patience. I feel that now even though the boys are home that still seems to be what i daily pray for. As a Mommy waiting for her kids and praying for them as they are being cared for in an orphanage my heart ached for them. Now that they are home my heart aches for their hearts to be healed. Praying that daily we are doing what is right for them to help with attachment, for them to be secure. As I write this Solomon is playing very sweetly with Jessica and laughing and kissing her...how sweet he is.

On Monday we were at Todd's softball game and Markenley had to go pee pee...there was no bathroom...I figured we would run to the nearest tree...that's what all the boys on TJ's team do. I didn't know how i was going to communicate this to him with my limited Creole. Just then Zach who is a little younger than Markenley heard that we were going to pee and he had to go too! GREAT!!! I had Zach show Markenley how to pee on the tree. I kinda wondered how I would stop this from being a normal thing for Markenley to do. Later that night we were at Safeway and I see Markenley standing up next to a cardboard display saying 'pee pee' looking as if he is going to try to go there...EEEKKKK ..Todd grabbed him and ran to the bathroom. Sheesh....I don't know what I would have done had he gone in the middle of the aisle in Safeway. I need to learn more Creole!!

Last night Solomon refused to go to sleep. I had layed with him for like an hour. It was so hard because as much as I love that time with the boys, I was feeling extremely guilty because I wanted to be downstairs with TJ helping him with his solar system project. Oh the Mommy guilt was building up! TJ is an extremely wonderful brother but he still needs me too.
I decided just to get him up and go help TJ. Solomon was being hysterically funny. He did not seem tired at all. He played and was being goofy as we made an awesome solar system. Later when we went to bed Solomon was sleeping in between Todd and I. He would, in the dark, go over to todd and kiss him, then to me..smooch smooch smooch. Finally I turned to my side and my back was to him. He would tap me and then I would turn to look at him and he would kiss me and then push my head back down..over and over. It was adorable.
I wonder how they were put to bed in the O. Markenley wants to lay on top of todd or I. He falls asleep pretty fast, but if i try to move from the bed when he is still awake he will pull me back to him.
I have read that leaving the room after they fall asleep will only cause anxiety and they will have a hard time falling asleep the other nights. hmmm...could this be why Solomon won't fall asleep as easily, or is there just too much excitement? Or is it because he is a Dunn and the Dunn kids are all night owls?? Solomon used to let his sisters snuggle him during nap time occasionally....as of last night it is only Mommy.
I can honestly say that I feel as if Solomon has been here forever. Markenley is still learning to trust, he is doing good though. He is a funny character, he loves to laugh. We are still trying to figure out the hair...it will need to be re-done soon. A doctor and receptionist both thought he was a girl today....hmmm...what to do. Will Markenley even let me spend that much time on his hair? Everyday I make sure I rub his hair and tell him how much I love it and want to take care of him. We'll see.

love you all.

Bonding!

Ok, the big kids are at school and the two little ones are napping! I have a cold so i feel yucky!
Overall things are going well. The first few days were a blur and I did a lot of worrying about the boys hearts and attachment...but each day brings us all closer. Markenley is a daddy's boy and Solomon is a mommy's boy. Yesterday at church was hard. Todd had to be play and sing during the service and Markenley wanted Daddy. First service I spent holding Markenley in Todd's office while he screamed and yelled for Daddy. After about 20 minutes he calmed down, rested in my arms and even went in the sling. I held him for a while and he was content and then was happy to see Daddy. During the second service he did the same. He does calm down and then we have a special bonding moment. Todd and I have made a concious effort to swap kiddos and he does the after bath massage with Soly and I do the same with Markenley. Putting them to bed is a special time of bonding too. Last night our family walked around the block and Soly was being pushed in his stroller and I held Markenley the whole time...he had a water bottle and each flower we passed he gave a drink of water. The closeness we shared was wonderful. Each day promotes new memories and bonding. We are constantly in awe that they are actually here. Each day also brings new challenges of teaching them...like getting little Soly to not throw his cup, not hit, or spit. He is a super sweet little boy, but when he doesn't like something he will tell you! I have seen that in the toddler room at the orphanage...the clawing and scratching of sweet little kids to get back their prized possession. We don't get upset at them because they don't know any better. These little ones have gone through far more in their little lives than we can ever imagine. We are thanking God that they are here, they are safe and they are loved. Our older kids are doing great with the boys too. They are a huge help and also very understanding of the need for them to bond with Mom and Dad. My little TJ seems so big to us and that is sad!!
Love to you all!
Renee

Ice cream and kisses!!

Solomon and TJ


Taylor, Solomon and TJ...kisses and ice cream?? Wow!

HOT May Day!

Jessica helping Markenley make a basket!

Already wants to drive!
First Ice cream cone...thanks Auntie Tara and Uncle Anthony!
The look!
MMMMMM

Haiti and going Home!

Home from Haiti..Is this real??

Well...we are home...with our sons. We are happy...we are tired! ;) It was an amazing trip. To see the way God orchestrated the final details was more than we could imagine. My dear friend Ann Marie has been such an encouragement to me the last few months. We spoke and emailed a lot. Our files entered at different times but the last few steps they were together...which is odd for Haiti :). To find out we had the same exact day and time for our Visa appointment was a huge blessing. We met in Miami and sat next to eachother flying into Haiti. That was something we dreamed of, and prayed for!
The day we left for Haiti Todd had to perform with our church group at a Festival in town, which he finished at 2pm...we had to run about 10 blocks to my friends Jen and Jeremy's van and rush to catch our 3:15 flight. We had already gotten our boarding passes that morning...but it was still SO stressful! We got to the airport with less than 50 minutes until our flight left. There was not one person in security and we got in and were even able to grab a bite to eat! Praise God.
So...we flew all night and got into Haiti at about 8 am on Mother's Day. The kids were brought to our hotel about 1 pm. What a gift. They did great! Solomon was very quiet at first but by that evening he had perked up. We had a nice Mother's Day dinner with Todd, Ann Marie and Francesca and our sons!!
Our Visa appointment was for Monday morning at 8 am. We arrived a little after 7 am. There was a very long line of Haitians...maybe 500.. waiting to get into the US Consulate. We were able to move to the front of the line, I am assuming that was because we were Americans and had an appointment.
We went in and met Madame Antoine....the lady I would call daily. She seemed so sweet. She smiled and said "oh, Mrs. Dunn.." she was very familiar with who i was!! Funny!
Then we met with Nancy McCarthy..she was very nice. I asked her if she thought that there could be any problems (meaning, do i need to stress until 2:30 when we would have to go back to get the Visa?). She said that it takes a while to get the appointment because they don't want people to come down and then run into issues, that is why they go over it all ahead of time. Our appointment was done before 8 am...our processor Kiki hadn't even shown up yet. He did meet us as we were going out. He is very nice and we were happy that we got to see him.
We went back to the hotel and then sat by the pool with Todd and Ann Marie and visited. A little later Pierre showed up with the kids birth parents. They stayed more than an hour...maybe 2. We had them tape video messages to the kids, while pierre translated.
Later we went swimming...because we were SOOOOO HOT!!! That was nice. Ann Marie and I went back to our rooms because we were exhausted and then our Todd's (yes, both of our hubby's are named Todd) went to pick up our Visa's!!!!!!
I was so tired but the boys were NOT! I could not get them to sleep!! A little while later Todd came back with the VISAS!!!! Yippppeee
Todd also told me that Pastor J was there to take us to see his orphanage. Pastor J is an awesome man of God in Haiti who helped us with our file when it was in MOI....he runs a orphanage with 50 boys and a school with 500 students. He is opening a medical clinic as well.
We grabbed the boys and off we went. It was a blessing to be able to spend time with him as well as see his ministry in action. When we got there a team from YWAM was there and Pastor J invited us to eat dinner with the team. We were so greatful.
Then we went back to the hotel and Todd and I put the boys to sleep and then packed our stuff!! We couldn't believe we got to take our boys home !!
The next day we were off. The flight from Haiti to Miami Soly slept and Markenley played. Then when we got to Miami we had a 4 hour layover because we heard immigration could take hours. Well...it took us (and Todd and Ann Marie) about 30 minutes!!
We both went to check to see if we could get an earlier flight home. Well...we both did!! It was sad to say goodbye to them!! So, we left at 2:30 Miami time and instead of flying to LA, with a 2 hour layover, we flew straight to SF. That meant we got into SF at 5:30 CA time instead of 10:20. It was a 6 hour flight. The boys did awesome!! We were so proud of them.
Jen picked us up from the airport and we got home and the kids were super excited. They kept hugging me saying "is this real?"
That night was crazy with lots of neighbors and friends coming by. But it was good. Markenley had a blast playing ball with the kids on the lawn. Soly did too.
That night we were going to have the boys sleep in our room but Markenley wanted to sleep in his new bed! TJ ended up sleeping with him part of the night. Soly slept with us.
I will post more about the adjustment later...must go to sleep!!
love you all!
Renee

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!

We got an email this morning from the Consulate!!!!!! The boys have their Visa appointments MONDAY MAY 12th at 8 am!!!!!!!

So does Ann Marie, for Francesca!!! Same time!!

Thank you GOD!!!!!

Waiting/FAQ

Well...we are still waiting to find out what is going on with our file. It's frustrating to say the least. The Consulate doesn't really like to answer our emails..if they do, they are super vague..."Rest assured, we will contact your processor with the next step". First of all...can you at least answer my questions in my email?? Secondly, these are MY children...TELL ME TOO!! We are paying over $1300. for the Visa's you are supposed to be processing! Where is the customer service?? Aren't our taxes paying your salary?? Imagine being pregnant and the doctor telling some other person about your baby and telling you nothing!! We are trying to be patient..but the days keep passing by.

The reality is that they WILL be home...soon...or eventually. One of the questions I get asked quite often is "are you nervous/scared about the boys coming home?"
There are days when I honestly can say I am a bit nervous..a "what are we getting ourselves into kind of thought?"
Then I think of all God has done for us....His Sacrifice...how little we will be sacrificing for God's Children. Our whole family will have to sacrifice time, money, etc. But we will be gaining so much LOVE and JOY! All I have to do is look in their precious eyes in their pictures...then I also feel peace.
There is so much attachment therapy that we will have to do when the boys come home. We will not be able to parent these sweet little ones like we have been parenting our bio-children.
These boys have missed out on so much developmentally.
I can only imagine how they are going to feel coming home. We have been WAITING for them, but they haven't been waiting for us! This will truly be traumatic for them. New environment, new language, new people, new food, new smells, new rules, new EVERYTHING. They will surely grieve everything they 'lost'. Ya, to us this is BETTER, but to these sweet little ones, they cannot comprehend all this. It's hard enough for me to comprehend!
They do not know what a FAMILY is. So, for them to call me Mommy...they have no clue what that is. Todd and I will have to teach them to trust us. They will need to learn that we are here and will ALWAYS be here for them. They will need to learn their role as a sibling...grow to love their other siblings.
We completely feel that this was God's plan for our lives..who are we to argue with him?
This leads me to my next FAQ...will we adopt again?
Who knows?? Only God knows. I find it really hard to not do something. There are so many hurting and hungry people in the world. How can we ignore it? I could expand on this more..but I am super tired.
love to you all...
Renee

Todays news...

Well I called the Consulate (during the one hour a day they allow you to call!)...and Kiki was there when I called turning in our paperwork. I was told they would review it all and then email Kiki...Soooo...please pray that it is all GOOD!! We really want our boys home for Mother's Day!! We can pray for that MIRACLE!! :) Another weekend...Sigh!
Love-
Renee

National Day of Prayer

What an amazing night we had, outside looking at the beautiful hills that our amazing God created. Singing praises to our Lord with our community. Hearing prayers from many other languages...all of them our God could understand even if I couldn't. Watching my daughter praise God with flags, while my other daughter sang and my VERY HANDSOME husband played the keyboard and sang. Next to me was my Jessibear and my wonderful friends Pam and Tara. It was altogether a wonderful night. We have so much to be thankful for, and I feel that lately I have been living in this adoption cocoon...and I realize I miss the world. I miss my friends!! I made a date with my dear friends Martha and Pammi to take our kids to get McFlurries and hang out at McDonalds tomorrow..and I can't wait!!!

My hubby gets to go to a men's retreat tomorrow with our church..he will be doing music. Please pray for an amazing weekend for the men as they draw closer to God and to one one another in fellowship!

Also....please pray...our adoption processor has an appointment tomorrow at the Consulate to turn in paperwork on behalf of Markenley, Solomon and Francesca, (my friends daughter). Please pray that all of our paperwork will be in order and my dear friend Ann Marie and I can travel to Haiti next week to pick up our kids!! Our investigation is already done, so hopefully we will not have any hold ups at the visa level...but so many people are...pray for the release of so kids waiting to go home.

TJ has opening night of Mulan Jr. tomorrow..I can't wait to see it! :)

Life is Good...because God is SO GOOD!

More purses..

For Tara

For ??

For ME!

While I wait....

While I wait..I sew...I scrapbook..this year my friends have gotten home made purses from me for their birthdays! Here are a few..



For Lizzie

?? Just because

For Rocio

For Keli

April Update

We got our monthly update. It is bitter sweet..makes me miss them so much more, especially after hearing that Solomon graduated to the toddler room! He was 4 months old when we met him. I am sure praying that this is our last update!
We are praying for a miracle..VISAS!! Things seem to have calmed down in Haiti and the riots have seemed to stop for now. Praying that means the Consulate can get moved and we can get our Visa appt. Our file has been at the Consulate since Nov. so I am hoping that once they have our passports and original paperwork they will want the file out!! I love my boys sooo much!!

Pray for Haiti

A demonstrator smashes the windows of an airline office in Port-au-Prince, Tuesday, April, 8, 2008. Hungry Haitians stormed the presidential palace Tuesday, throwing rocks and demanding the resignation of President Rene Preval over soaring food prices. Overwhelmed guards struggled to hold back the crowd until U.N. peacekeepers came to their rescue, firing rubber bullets and tear gas.(AP Photo/Jack Tierney)Haitians run through the streets during demonstrations April 8 in Port-au-Prince against the cost of living in Haiti. Blue-helmet UN peacekeepers were called in Tuesday to protect Haiti's presidential palace after violent demonstrations against high food and fuel prices broke out in the capital.(AFP/Thony Belizaire)By JONATHAN M. KATZ, Associated Press Writer PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Hungry Haitians stormed the presidential palace Tuesday to demand the resignation of President Rene Preval over soaring food prices and U.N. peacekeepers battled rioters with rubber bullets and tear gas.Rioters were chased away from the presidential palace but by late afternoon had left trails of destruction across Port-au-Prince. Concrete barricades and burned-out cars blocked streets, while windows were smashed and buildings set on fire from the capital's center up through its densely populated hills.Outnumbered U.N. peacekeepers watched as people looted businesses near the presidential palace, not budging from the building's perimeter. Nearby, but out of sight of authorities, another group swarmed a slow-moving car and tried to drag its female driver out the window."We are hungry! He must go!" protesters shouted as they tried to break into the presidential palace by charging its chained gates with a rolling dumpster. Moments later, Brazilian soldiers in blue U.N. helmets arrived on jeeps and assault vehicles, firing rubber bullets and tear gas canisters and forcing protesters away from the gates.Food prices, which have risen 40 percent on average since mid-2007, are causing unrest around the world. But nowhere do they pose a greater threat to democracy than in Haiti, one of the world's poorest countries where in the best of times most people struggle to fill their bellies."I think we have made progress in stabilizing the country, but that progress is extremely fragile, highly reversible, and made even more fragile by the current socio-economic environment," U.N. envoy Hedi Annabi said Tuesday after briefing the Security Council.For months, Haitians have compared their hunger pains to "eating Clorox" because of the burning feeling in their stomachs. The most desperate have come to depend on a traditional hunger palliative of cookies made of dirt, vegetable oil and salt.Riots broke out in the normally placid southern port of Les Cayes last week, quickly escalating as protesters tried to burn down a U.N. compound and leaving five people dead. The protests spread to other cities, and on Monday tens of thousands took to the streets of Port-au-Prince.The U.S. Embassy in Haiti warned American citizens in the chaotic capital to avoid crowds and roadblocks and to remain vigilant. Embassy buildings were pelted with rocks on Tuesday but there have been no reports of injuries to U.S. citizens.Preval, a soft-spoken leader backed by Washington, was at work in the palace during the protests, aides said. He has made no public statements since the riots began."I compare this situation to having a bucket full of gasoline and having some people around with a box of matches," said Preval adviser Patrick Elie. "As long as the two have a possibility to meet, you're going to have trouble."The protesters also are demanding the departure of the 9,000 U.N. peacekeepers, whom they blame in part for rising food prices. The peacekeepers came to Haiti in 2004 to quell the chaos that followed the ouster of former President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.They helped usher in a democratic transition, but critics say both Preval and the international community have focused too much on political stability without helping to alleviate poverty. That could spell trouble not only for Preval, but for Haiti's fragile democracy as well."We voted Preval for a change. Nothing happened," said Joel Elie, 31, who like many Haitians is unemployed. "We're tired of it and we can't wait anymore."While the peacekeepers spend more than US$500 million (euro320 million) a year in Haiti, the World Food Program has collected less than 15 percent of the US$96 million (euro61 million) it says Haiti needs in donations this year. The WFP issued an emergency appeal Monday for more.Meanwhile, new customs procedures aimed at collecting revenues and stopping the flow of drugs has left tons of food rotting in ports, especially in the country's north. In a country where almost all food is imported, cargo traffic from Miami ground nearly to a halt, though shippers say intervention by Preval last month has improved the situation somewhat.Government officials say the riots are being manipulated by outside forces, specifically drug smugglers who can operate more easily amid chaos and supporters of Guy Philippe, a fugitive rebel leader wanted in U.S. federal court in connection with a drug indictment.Annabi, the U.N. envoy, said "people with political motivations" were exploiting the demonstrations, but didn't say who he was referring to.Many in the crowds are demanding the return of the exiled Aristide, and thousands showed up Monday for a rally by a key Aristide ally, the Rev. Gerard Jean-Juste, in the oceanside slum of Cite Soleil.___Associated Press writer Evens Sanon contributed to this report.

OUR SONS HAVE PASSPORTS!!!

Oh how we wish we could go to Haiti to celebrate with the boys!!

I miss their SMILES!! :)

We are super excited that the boys got their passports last week! :) This is definatly a praise! But...of course...the Visa office and USCIS is closed this month!!! Our I-600 was signed in Aug. and the birth parent interview was done in Nov. We have an approved I-600 (pending getting the original paperwork from MOI and the passports and medical letter). We were told our file had to go back to the USCIS then sent onto the Embassy where it would be reviewed and then we can try to get a Visa appt. which I hear is no easy feat!! It was only 2 months ago that getting a visa was pretty much a non issue--within a week of getting the passports you got the visa and they went home. Of course now this seems to be SLOW~! OF COURSE!! I still so thankful for where we are at, and feel so sad for so many others STUCK in other offices. Please be in prayer for the whole adoption process in Haiti...for the waiting children..for the waiting families...also, for the birth moms who soon will no longer be able to stop by the O to visit their children. Oh my heart aches for my boys, my heart aches for their birth Moms.

Love to you all!

Renee

Watercooler Wednesday

I am new to the Watercooler. Hi! I am here at the request of my husband. Here is my contribution for this week. We are in the midst of adopting Markenely(4) and Solomon(2) from Haiti. It's been a long journey, but we they are almost home. Praise God! Here is the Fam.


Go here to check out the other entries. Maybe you can win an iPod. Good luck!
http://randyelrod.typepad.com/ethos/2008/04/watercooler-wed.html

Prayers...Pretty Please!!

There is this amazing couple who's blog I have been reading for a while. They are Tricia and Nate. http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/
Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis and is waiting to get a double lung transplant. This may happen tomorrow. They also have the cutest baby who's was born very early...amazing...please check out their blog and pray for a miracle that we know God can do. My heart is also breaking for the family who just lost a love one who's lung Tricia may receive. I am reminded of the song..Blessed be your name, the verse that says "he gives and takes away".
Love to all,
Renee

Praising GOD!!

We are out of MOI!!!! Officially! We just got the E-mail.

Now we are just waiting for Passports and Visas. We are so very close. Our
boys are coming soon. Please continue to pray for a quick process. But this
is awesome news! Thank you for all of your support! Blessings!

Solomon's Christmas Gift

Solomon finally got our Christmas gift we sent to him. Oh how our hearts ache for our boys! :(

 

prayer request

We would like to ask for prayer for the files sitting in MOI waiting to be signed by the director and sent to immigration! Ours is one of them, along with some other good friends files. We are also praying for the next steps to move quickly..passports and visas!! :) Our boys have been waiting for so long...our family has been on this adoption journey for more than 3 years and we are weary, we are ready for them to be HOME, in our arms, being loved by US!!! We are anxious to hold them, read to them, tell them how treasured they are by us and by GOD. We know that each child that comes home is only by the GRACE and MERCY and STRENGTH of GOD. I am praising God for gift of these amazingly sweet boys. I look forward to the MIRACULOUS day when the boys will be here with us. What a day of rejoicing.

love you all...
Renee :)

My hubby's blog..

http://loverofr.blogspot.com/

TjTv

So, ya...tj borrowed our video camera and this is what he did...by the way, turbo jam is really a good workout and beachbody.com is where i have gotten a lot of my workout videos..he is so funny! You never know what he will come up with!!
And...he doesn't play football on the Milpitas Knights, although he is dying for me to say yes to him playing football, not sure if that's going to happen!!

blessed...

I have been feeling in a funk lately...the adoption waiting funk...in my time of reflecting I have to share how blessed I am. I am married to the sweetest, kindest, handsomest :) man. He loves me, loves our children and loves God with his whole heart and life.
He lets me be in my moods...tries to help me climb out of them...helps me see the good in life. I am so thankful to our Lord for allowing me to marry this amazing man. I love him so much. Sometimes i am too focused on my little world..i hate that about myself. I believe God is working on me in that area.
I love you honey, more than you know.
You are the bestest!!
XOXO

UGGGHHHHHHHHHH

I am soooo irritated...today i really DISLIKE a certain HIGH SCHOOL BOY!!!! This is one that my sweet daughter likes...he should feel blessed that she likes him and she keeps giving him chances and he keeps breaking her heart. She says he just doesn't know how to treat a girl and this is all making her stronger. She called me from school today and I only had a minute to talk to her but now I am mad and sad and UGGHHH. I know that I will have 3 high school boys and my goal is to teach them to 'not break girls hearts!!'

BOYS!!!

new pics of our sons!

Thank you to Heather and Kristi for these cute pics of our boys!!:)

 

 

Jessica singing WHY

This is one of my favorite songs, and it is even better with my beautiful daughter Jessica singing it and my hubby playing piano!

TAYLOR

Compassionate, Caring and SPUNKY
Taylor is growing up! This past week she kept her room clean all week..because now it is her office! She is an Event Coordinator. She made a posterboard with wedding ideas, birthday party ideas etc. It is adorable. She got her first event to plan...i 'hired' her to help plan Solomon's 2nd birthday party. His party is on June 22...so, he better be home!
I really have seen signs of maturity and self control. She still has her innocent side, she played all weekend with the neighbor girls..they played house and dolls. We are proud of our Tay Tay.

AWESOME VIDEO!!

I found this video on another blog...amazing & inspiring.

MY GIRLS!

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow...

SHANAY AND JESSICA WILL BOTH HAVE THEIR BRACES OFF...THESE ARE A FEW OF THE LAST SMILES OF MY TWO TEENS WITH THEIR BEAUTIFUL BRACES..JESS GOT HERS OFF LAST WEEK..I WILL POST PICS OF THE BOTH THE GIRLS TOMORROW WITH THEIR BRACE-LESS TEETH. THIS HAS BEEN VERY EMOTIONAL FOR ME...MY BABIES...SOON TO BE WOMEN! UGGHHH..THEY ARE WONDERFUL YOUNG LADIES WHO LOVE GOD WITH THEIR WHOLE HEARTS...THEY ARE ALSO STARTING WITH THE 'CRUSH ON BOYS' STAGE! I LOVE MY GIRLS SOOO MUCH!

 

 

 

 

Hopeful

Today started off icky, but became hopeful. It usually does. I heard someone talking about how they wish they knew what would happen in the future...whatever the situation was. Not adoption related. I started to think how so many adoptive parents wish they knew when their kids were coming home. It lead to me to think about how glad I am that I don't necessarily know what the Lord has in store for tomorrow. How exciting is a life that is all planned out? To just follow the course knowing what is next really wouldn't be that exciting. I was thinking back to many times hanging out with our small group and my bff pammi and i smiling contentedly at eachother because they were all chasing their toddlers..our kids were older...life is getting pretty easy!! Then God must've been smiling! He knew what was in store!! I just laugh..if i had known, i wouldn't have gotten to enjoy that moment with pammi..or maybe i would have enjoyed it more...hmm...Pam, we need to do some hanging out and relaxing soon before i am chasing the boys around!!

In my anguish and pain of the 'waiting' the Lord reveals over and over to me that he feels that way about his children. He wants them to all know him and love him. The biggest thing I struggle with is wishing Markenley, who is 4, know how much we love him...wanting the orphanage staff to constantly remind him of that. Isn't that what we are all called to do? Tell others that their heavenly father loves them so much and wants them to be with Him? What can we do today to share that love with others?

Anyway, life is good. I have a wonderful amazing family. Wonderful friends! A super fun job. An amazing Heavenly Father and HOPE.

love you all lots,
renee

Feeling SAD

It has been a difficult day. We have so much faith in our wonderful Lord. We know he LOVES our boys...but we miss them. :( Is there anything we can do to help bring them home? After all..besides God, who cares more for them than we do? We feel frustrated for lots of reasons that i cannot go into right now...disappointed and sad.

Please pray that our boys will exit MOI soon. We are praying that our file has no errors and will be signed out VERY soon.

We just want the best for them...that's all.

I have been struggling with feeling guilty for thinking about them so much, as if I am not happy with life as it is. That's not true..i love my family, love my life, but..my family isn't all together..wouldn't it be odd if I didn't think about and miss my children? Taylor will be going to science camp for a week soon, i will miss her terribly when she is gone. She will only be an hour away, and in a very safe environment.
We haven't seen Markenley and Solomon for about 6 months. That is way too long. It stinks that days and weeks go by without progress...weekends come and you know that nothing can happen until the next week....if that.
I picture Markenley the day we left him, head down, sobbing...i wonder what he is thinking, what does he understand? Does he feel abandoned by us? Does he know we are coming back? What do the staff at the orphanage tell him? We have NO communication with him...
We miss our boys.

:(

"When are you coming to get us?"

They need to come home!!!

"I want to go home Mommy!"

What have we done??

I think my husband is going to cancel our cable!! I will soon be banned from watching anymore home improvement shows!! It always looks so easy on tv!!
Well, if you remember, we did a room swap with the kids, so in Jan. I did their rooms. Then I decided that our blue hallway had to go..so that went taupe..which meant the ceiling in the hall and the linen cabinet, ugghh...
Then we decided that the carpet in our living room had to go..it is old and icky, and may be the reason for Jessica getting sick all the time..who knows...
There is hardwood floor underneath..they are really old and we re-did the floors in our bedroom and they turned out ok, they were a lot of work and no matter how much we sanded them they didn't stain as well as we wanted. So, i thought I would call my favorite place Empire Carpets (they come and give you a quote one day and do the floors the next). I LOVE THAT!!
They came out but were very pricey!! So, as soon as they left I remembered this commercial I see on HGTV all the time..lumber liquidators!!! I went on their website and they were having this big sale..and they were only like 10 minutes from our house!! So, we went down there and for super cheap bought all the flooring!! It literally saved us $12,000!! "We can do it ourselves, it's easy, I see it done all the time on TV!" is what i said to Todd!! We decided to do the entry way, which was tile, the kitchen, which was wood already but was starting to splinter, and the living room which was carpet with the hard wood underneath. We thought it would look great since it was all connected if it were the same.
Meanwhile, since we are going to do that we might as well re-paint our kitchen cabinets!! They had been painted white years ago..but were starting to chip. They were brass hardware...not really my style! :)
So, Friday Todd took down the cabinets for me. We were both busy friday night at Church, I was running our family fun night and todd was in a meeting. Saturday Todd was gone all day at Church. So, i was on my own. My daughters friend Galen was over, and so he and I sanded all the cabinets down....all day!! Then we started to move furniture and all the stuff from the cabinets..we wanted to start demo-ing the floors!! I know, finish the cabinets first..but demo sounded fun!!!
Todd got home, he gave us the go ahead..and helped us move the big stuff. Bye bye carpet!! Bye bye tile!! Oh my goodness, tile is HARD to break!! The kids did most of the tile removal...we gave them hammers, safety glasses and a sledge hammer and they were going at it! It was fun, at first!! They did great!! Taylor did a lot! I was worried that she was going to be so sore, but she was fine. A neighbor girl who is 6 was helping too..she is tiny and it was adorable to see her going at the tile like a maniac..we made sure she knew she couldn't do it at home! Anyway, the kitchen floor was a bear to tear up. Our neighbor had this tool.. it was this big bar thingy that weighed soooo much and it helped a lot..Shanay and I did a lot of the floor,to surprise todd, although it probably would have been really easy for him because he is a strong man, for us it was hard!
So, that was done over Sunday and Monday.
Sunday and Monday I painted the cabinets. I painted them white...i so wanted to do a color..but i am finding that i change my mind about colors a lot...so I painted them white!!
Well, Todd is finding that actually installing the floors isn't that easy!! He is stressing and wants to do them right..he has read too many websites!! There is the uneven walls...the going into one room from the other to consider etc. etc.
There is this awesome guy at church that does construction, i kept telling todd to call Gary...
well, today he finally called Gary...Gary is coming over tonight to point todd in the right direction...maybe we will have floors done by tomorrow..or Friday??? :)
My next project....an organic garden!!
I do have to say, I do have the most amazing hardworking husband in the whole wide world. I am so greatful to him!
I told him that I feel like I am 'nesting' but i am not pregnant, so i can take on bigger projects!
Love you all...pray for Todd!! :)

You know you're an adoptive parent when...

1. The fact that there are 143 million children
without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.

2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love & family.

3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.

4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child
there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.

5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families
who've experienced the blessing of adoption.

6. It drives you crazy when people ask you
about adopted child's "real" parents.

7. You've been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer
than it takes an elephant to give birth.(2 years!)

8. You'd no idea how you'd afford to adopt,
but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing He'd provide. (& He does!)

9. You've taken an airplane half-way around the world
with a child you just met.
`
10. You believe God's heart's for adoption.

11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart & family
is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.

12. You know what the word "Dossier" means
& you can actually pronounce it correctly!

13. You've welcomed a social worker into
the most private parts of your life.

14. You shudder when people say your child's so lucky that you adopted them,
knowing full well you're the blessed one to have him or her in your life.

I AM AN ADOPTIVE PARENT..AND PROUD OF IT!

Blessing!!!

We recently received amazingly wonderful news!! There is a couple at our church who have one daughter. They are such wonderful parents, and are very strong in their faith. I have talked to her before about adopting. In the past she did not think she could do it, for reasons of their own. Well, recently we found out that they are going to adopt!!! She said that she remembers the exact day in July, Todd was sharing with the church the update on our adoption and she felt the holy spirit telling her to adopt. I am sure she could share this in a much more eloquent way!!!
I was feeling such a burden to adopt all the kids in the world...obviously we cannot do that. This was such a gift from God..a new inspiration for me..a new way to help children!! I will continue to share and be there to support anyone who would like to join this roller coaster ride. Don't forget, roller coasters have their ups and downs. As much as I want off the roller coaster (of the adoption process), I am glad we decided to ride it!! We will then jump on the coaster of 'two more boys in the home'!!
If you feel a nudge from the holy spirit and want to talk about it, I am here for you. Love you all lots!!!

Spring Cleaning Mishap etc.

I was having a good spring cleaning day today unitil..
I learned a lesson ...I knew this already, but was being naive..my husband warned me...TJ, my 9 year old thought it was a good idea...so I tried..I tried to give my cat a bath!!! It didn't take long to realize what a horrible idea this was. I have claw and teeth marks on my side to prove it. She is such a good cat, i thought she would nicely go along with my idea, i thought she may even appreciate it!!
Alas, I will just find something else to clean!!

I am patiently waiting to hear if some of my dear friends get good news today from our orphanage about their adoption process. I don't think we will hear anything, but really want to hear from others that they have moved along in the process. I dreamt about the boys last night. In my dream I was teaching Solomon how to say Mommy. I miss them so much.

Jessica has been in a lot of pain again. We took her to the ER on Thursday. They did an ultrasound and said her spleen is big..but they didn't seem too worried because they said it was the same size as the last time she had an ultrasound. Last time they didn't say anything about it being big. They did say not to do anything physical...sports etc. So, if it's not a big deal, why can't she do sports?? Odd!
They did blood work and that came back fine...they did another stool sample test...we'll get results later. I asked them to test for giardia..since she did get sick in Haiti...just trying to rule things out. They had said she had a pancreatice insufficiency, but now are wondering if that's what it is because she is still having pain and because she didn't have some of the symptoms that you would normally see with that. So, we are praying for an answer. She is sooo sooo tired of being sick. My heart breaks for her. If you could pray for her we would appreciate it.

Well, have a great day my friends!