Friday will be 9 months since the boys entered the US to live with us FOREVER. What amazing experiences we have had. There have been many lows and many highs along the way.
Since I know that many people who read my blog are fellow adoptive friends...many still waiting for their kids to come home I thought I would share more about this experience.
I think back to before the boys came home and wonder why I did not get more done before they were here...caught up on scrapbooks...etc. Then I remember that I was so obsessed with all things adoption, Haiti and attachment there was little time for other stuff...plus my heart was in Haiti...motivation just was not there. I did do stuff...just not as much as I would have liked:)
I do have moments where I have to bring back those feelings of waiting and remind myself how God put the desire for these little ones to come home in my heart..moments when they are not being that cute! I think back to their old life and am so thankful to God for bringing them home. I honestly think it is a miracle…
I believe each adoption is a miracle. The trials that we went through to get them home.
We still miss our little Noah and there are times when I am holding the boys and get sad and angry that I never got to hold my other son. How he needed a mommy to hold him. I think back to our O director who said that it was better that he died before I held him...I can honestly say that I would have preferred to be holding him telling him that I love him when he went to see Jesus.
We are grateful that Markenley and Solomon are in our family. They fit perfectly. Consistency has been a big help in the process. It is a bit hard when we are around friends or family and I can only imagine they think that we are mean at times...like for instance when we are at a party and I make them ask for food...yet my older kids can eat whatever they want. Others may not realize that we are teaching them that we are the providers and take care of all their needs. Markenley will constantly say now “Mommy and Daddy take care of us.”He gets it.
Another challenge is that our house seems to constantly have lots of kids/teens over. I do not like the boys just running around with all the big kids...especially when they first came home. We have had more issues with this with Markenley. He seemed to obey less the more that he felt independent. I felt that was more like what he did at the Orphanage. I felt that keeping him close at the beginning was better for him.
I do not think that either of the boys have major attachment issues. I was worried because of all the siblings that they would struggle with this. They love their siblings but defiantly know Mommy and Daddy.
I am now trying to give Markenley a little more independence while keeping consistency with our expectations. Recently I heard Markenley crying in bed and went up there and Soly was in his bed annoying Markenley (Soly should have been in his crib)...I think Markenley knew he was supposed to stay in bed ...i realized I had to explain that he can get out of bed if he needs something! He was obeying=)
Their English is amazing. They have not spoken Creole in months….like 6 months maybe. They never talked to each other in Creole. When we talk to them in Creole now they look at us like we are silly.
Solomon has amazing language for only being 2 1/2.
Markenley..
He turned 5! I do not know if I posted about his birthday. I cannot believe he is 5. I am so proud of him. He is truly a love. With sooo many melt downs in the beginning things are getting more controllable! He really likes to make us happy. He tries to be good. He learns pretty quickly. He loves t.v.! We have to limit his time watching t.v. He will ask me in the morning to go take a shower..that is usually when he gets to watch it. He loves Dora the Explorer and Handy Mandy. Markenley is a snuggly boy and needs plenty of snuggle time. He will say many times during the day “I want to give you a hug and kiss and tell you I love you”. He is always telling me I am cute, and if I am doing the dishes or something he will say “you are doing a great job cleaning….”He is very gentle with Solomon. He always makes sure Soly has whatever he has..and vice versa! He talks about Haiti still sometimes but says he does not like it and wants to stay here forever.
Solomon is 2! He is full of boundless energy. He is a joy. He is smart and funny and snuggly and silly….he does at times just get somber. He has a yellow stuffed lion (Nana) that he will hold up to his face and soothe himself . He loves Nana! We spend lots of time snuggling too. When he first came home he would get sooo angry if you made him do something he did not want to do. He would spit and hit. Almost all of that is gone. He can still be very independent..and stubborn! He is totally into the “I do it myself “ stage. Whether it is getting dressed or buckling his car seat. He can often be found out of his crib running down the hall...into some kind of mischief!! His favorite thing to do is put on Markenley's shoes...ALL the time..the same shoes or 2 different shoes. It doesn't matter if they are on the right feet either.
I am so thankful to our faithful Father for growing our family through adoption. Although we weren't looking to grow our family we cannot imagine our lives without them. I am not naive enough to think that we may not have many issues in the future that we will have to deal with, but for now things are good.
Will we adopt again? That is a question I am asked often....well....the Lord will have to reveal that to us. I am OK!
Life is a stuggle...our lives are CRAZZZYYYY....financially it's hard.
Shanay is doing track, Jess has joined club volleyball, Tay and TJ are doing the play Alice in Wonderland, TJ and Markenley are signed up for baseball...not to mention doing all the church activities.
I recently got my Daycare license because I will be taking care of Tara's baby when she is born...and since I stay home with the boys I thought this would be a great decision. I am still working at the church..I couldn't give that job up and my supervisor thought I could handle that too....I will see how all that goes!
Anyway...that's all for now...i will post some pics!
love you all!
Renee
Soly snuggling his Nana
Silly Doe Doe Bird
Those eyes!
"I do it myself !"
Solemn Soly
Happy 13th Birthday Taylor
Hysterical ...look at Soly standing there with his hands in his pockets checking out what the girls are doing! This is the pre-tanning party to taylors 20 girl sleepover party. In CA you can attempt to tan in January!
He loves to walk the big bike up and down the sidewalk.
Happy Birthday TJ and Markenley
