Markenley's English video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJqLk_4jb4s

Noah's Celebration Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N288uGrO_Bo

Solomon, Markenley and TJ

Markenley and Jessica Swimming!



Solomon's first doctors appt.

Hi...
A lot has happened since I have posted on my blog....if you noticed, I had to change my blog name from waiting for Noah, to now Missing our Noah....
On Oct. 27th (exactly one week from the time our whole family was to travel to Haiti to FINALLY after more than 33o days we would meet NOAH)....well, we got a call saying that Noah wasn't doing good and we really needed to work on the med. visa. Anyway, that's a story in and of it's self. Needless to say, that day I was just a mess, I am in charge of our Fall Festival at our Church for our whole community, and had lots of last minute things to do, but felt so sick inside and couldn't even move. Later that afternoon we got a call saying that Noah was dying...he had asthma, how can you die from that??! We knew that and he had been being treated, he was on a steroid, and albuterol....in fact we had spent almost $200 on inhalers for him for later...they were with us...we were almost there...I couldn't believe I heard those words. It was horrifying. By 8:30 that evening he was gone. It was the most horrifying thing EVER. We loved him so much and dreamt of holding him for soooo long. We talked non-stop about him, his pictures are in every room in our house. Our kids were so attached..he was already a part of our family. It made no sense. I was angry. I was so mad at God, "it is a cruel joke" I kept saying. We were going to Haiti in a week. We were broken. I cried more than ever, and this was the first time I had seen my husband really cry. I felt horrible, as a Mom, I felt so responsible for causing my whole family to be heart-broken. I had first brought up adoption, and I first saw Noah's picture. It was all my fault. So, now I had my grief and GUILT!! Well, this was on a Friday, and we decided Noah deserved a Memorial Service. So, that Sunday we decided to have a service. They announced it at church and people were so shocked. In fact the doctor that had her letter notarized stating that she would treat him for free was sitting in the service. Well, even with such short notice, we had more than 250 people come to his service. This was the first memorial service I had ever been to. I avoid sad things, I guess. It was a beautiful service. A friend of ours sang the song "He's My Son" and we had a slideshow of pics of Noah. I will post the slideshow. Another good friend who is a saxaphone player and loved Noah sent us a song that he wrote and was dedicating to Noah. After the service everyone lined up to encourage us. It was amazing the amount of people that Noah's little life touched...they shared that they saw a kind of love that was so deep, and the awareness of life outside our little town. They thanked me for always making them look at my updated picture of Noah, because he was now a part of them. One friend was adopted and she said she never really could imagine that her family could 'really' love her, but she saw how much we truly loved Noah, and so that helped her realize that her family really could love her that much. That was when we started seeing the Lord as Our HEALER. We are blessed by that. That is when I began to forgive God, and see the value of Noah's life. We never regretted bringing Noah into our family, even if we never got to hold him. We love him soooo much. We are happy that he has a family that will always love him and remember him. As painful as it may be at times. My son, who was 7 at the time, would always ask me, 'are you sure we're going to get Noah?' and I would say, "i am pretty sure, it's just paperwork that needs to be done." urggghh , that was hard. Every morning when we would snuggle we would talk about making a Noah sandwich...someday!
Well, anyway, there was still the trip that was planned. Going to Haiti now, seemed a bit pointless...but it was a mission trip, and there was work to be done, and if God called us to Haiti, we needed to be faithful and go...it was out of obedience, not joy and excitement. Keep in mind, we were taking 4 of our children with us, this was a big expense.
So, Nov. 3rd we were off to Haiti. We arrived on Nov. 4th. It was so hard, we had dreamt of flying into Haiti, going to the orphanage and smooching and hugging Noah! Our ophanage director said to the families when we were at the airport "ok, we'll all go to the orphanage and pick up your children and go to the hotel." That's when I really lost it. We went to the orphanage and pretty much right away we met Noah's nanny. We held eachother and cried. That was another step in the healing. My time there showed me that Noah was truly LOVED and that made me happy.
I know this is long, sorry, hold on, it gets interesting....
Well, anyway, let me backtrack a few months really quick...someone from our orphanage was organizing gifts for Christmas for the toddlers. I was going to pick a 2 year old named Kenley, no real reason...but I accidently typed Markenley. Markenley was another 2 year old. I remember thinking that was kinda a weird mistake, and at that time I knew we were going to see Noah, our file wasn't in IBESR, and wondered if when we went God would reveal a 2nd child for our family. I didn't want to pick, I wanted to see what God would reveal. (I wondered if my mistake, wasn't a mistake at all...ok, God...) Meanwhile Kenley got a forever family..
Anyway, so back to the first time we visited the orphanage. There were so many kids it was overwhelming, and they were all so darn cute. Linda handed us this itty bitty baby...Vladamir...and he was adorable. He was too little to take back to the hotel. I wanted to bring someone on a 'field trip' to the hotel. I said it could be a toddler. I said, we sponsored Markenley and I don't think he has a forever family...so we grabbed him from the toddler room and went back to the hotel. We were in no way ready to pick another child, we were so emotionally drained. Markenley was so cute and fun...our kids loved him. He was laughing and smiling the first day we brought him to the hotel. Well, we kept him with us the rest of the 2 weeks we were there. He became so attached. When he would fall and we were at the orphanage, only I could comfort him. He loved the kids but there were many times he would prefer Todd or I. He seemed to know we are the parents and they are siblings. It was so funny. He has a mind of his own. He is so darn cute. We decided there was no way we could NOT adopt him. The kids agreed.
Well, anyway, Vladamire, after 10 days of visiting him ended up being HIV pos. and they can't keep him at the orphanage. That same day Solomon (5 months old) came in and the next day we spent time with him. He was sick though. You could tell he didn't feel good, he projectile vomited all over me, it was lovely. I was heartbroken for him. Todd loved him too. Our hearts were commited. When we were leaving they were putting him on IV...the next day he was hospitalized for a month. They think he had bacterial meningitis. He was treated and is doing better. Life is so fragile, especially in these 3rd world countries. Now I see why none of the kids you sponsor through Compassion are under 5...they have so little chance. So many lives lost...these kids are the innocent victims. I really think that the poor nutrition of the birth moms has a lot to do with this. Noah had been in the orphanage getting med. care (Haitian med. care) and formula, but still, his little body couldn't fight.
Anyway, the kids had a great time in Haiti, and it was a wonderful experience. I was there 2 weeks and when I came home home I appreciated so much. We are so blessed beyond measure in the US. The things I hear so many people complain about...public schools, hospital care, our streets, safety, electricity, tap water...oh we are blessed!!!!
Ok, well that's it for now...